If cheeses could speak...

they would say things like;
Edam:
“I was going to get some flavour, but then I got high”
Brie:
“Is it me or is it warm in here? I’m melting”
Camembert:
“Don’t look at me, it was ze dog!”
Irish Cheddar:
“Oi’ll have annudder Guinness, so I will”
Stinking Bishop:
“I said exactly the same thing to Nick Park on the set of ‘Curse of the Were Rabbit’. Did I tell you I had a major role in that film”
Mature Irish Cheddar:
“Not for me thanks, Oi’m driving”
Taleggio:
“It’s not mould; it’s a carefully cultivated air of rakishness”
Caerphilly:
“Ha, ha, very funny. I’ve not heard that one before - “Just do it caerphilly,” How droll.
Roquefort:
“Zat is wrong. Ze mouse in ze ‘Aristocats’ was named after me, not ze uzzer way round. Idiot!”
Emmental:
“Is it me or is it warm in here? I’m melting”
Gruyère:
“I’m fond of ue too, Emmental”