What kind of uncle are you?

The phone rings and in the absence of caller ID, it has to be answered. “Hi uncle, can you help me?” says a familiar voice. What does the young lad want, I wonder? Does he need some help rebuilding a mountain bike? Does he want to come snowboarding in Zermatt? Does he want to join me marlin fishing in Mauritius? Perhaps he wants to talk over some teenage guy issues? Does he need help stripping down a motorbike engine? It is great being an uncle, especially to such fine young men. The eldest is intelligent, but isn’t that bothered by school things, he’s a lightning fast sprinter, he’s good looking and loves being outdoors. His younger brother is full of energy and life, loves doing stunts on his bike and getting dirty. He’s also got a cheeky smile and is great with people.
What does he want? “I’ve got some really boring homework and need to know what DNA stands for.” So there you have it. I’m the uncle they ring for really dull homework answers. I’m not “adventure uncle” – the extreme sportsman - they’ve got one of those. I’m not the rugged outdoors uncle; they’ve got one of those too. I’m the one they call when something obscure and not even remotely exciting comes up in homework. I’m “lo-tech Google man” for boys without internet access.
The only consolation is that they called me and that I knew the answer. I’d rather be out on a boat on the open ocean with them, but I suppose I’ll settle for being useful, I know my limits.