Thursday, August 17, 2006

Canada

The Fruits of My Research - Canada
Famous throughout the world for its resolutely neutral stance towards culinary development, Canada has a rich, short and bloody history. Canadians have been involved in most major global conflicts since 1914. After fighting with great heroism in two World Wars, they now tend to adopt a more pragmatic approach. If there is a fight somewhere in the world, you can guarantee that Canadians will show up at some stage, usually when the worst of the fighting is over and “keep the peace.”
Canada was founded when French settlers invaded and after much fighting established a colony amongst what was left of the indigenous population. Guilt over this sordid chapter led to the capital being named Tonto, after a famous local “Native Canadian.” This mixture of French speaking Canadians and the native “injun” population gave rise to the name “Canajun” being used to describe the language, food and culture of the new nation. To this day the lakes are still called “bayou” and the national anthem is “Jambalay on the bayou” in memory of the Canajun tradition.
Canada has always lived in the shadow of its powerful and more prosperous neighbour, Alaska. Indeed, it only gained independence in 1988 after a long and bloody war against Alaska and its allies on Canada’s southern border. The fight for freedom was led by the charismatic Wayne Gretzky and a bunch of determined street fighters, the so- called “Edmonton Oilers”. They spent the best part of 10 years brawling their way around Canada’s neighbouring states fighting for independence. Eventually their struggle bore fruit and a deal was struck - in exchange for Gretzky and an end to the hostilities, Canada was free.
Whilst the country appears to be a largely peaceful state, it is interesting to note that neighbouring America still retains a vast nuclear deterrent.
Canada used to be the first choice destination for emigrating Britons fleeing the oppression of Margaret Thatcher’s dictatorship. Times have since changed significantly in Britain where the native population is now fleeing George W Bush’s puppet Tony Blair’s dictatorship for Australia where the weather is better and the language isn’t so tricky.
Canada’s national dishes are Moussaka (qv) and fillet gumbo. The national tree is the oak.
The national pastime is hockey, a “sport” that allows very gifted ice skaters the chance to beat the living daylights out of each other without judicial interference.
Famous Canadians
Charles De Gaulle, Eric Cantona, Pepe Le Peu, Greg Rusedski

2 comments:

jennmedic said...

Haha Canada Rocks :D hockey is awesome and don't forget the Mackiensie brothers- Bob and Doug!! LOL. "Take off eh you hoser!!" Then there is my personal favorite "Steamroller" :D

The Pillager said...

Any song with Geddy Lee on is OK in my book - "Take Off" was one of his best, eh?