New definitions

Cardiologist - a woman (or man) who repairs cardigans.

Coo!

Collar doves are well-known for their repetitive but catchy calling. So much so, that they now have their own "Download Chart" on the internet. Here are this weeks top 5 tunes downloaded by collar doves:
1. Coo-Coooo Coo by Cool Dove
2. Coo-Coooo Coo by The Koller Dovez
3. Coo-Coooo Coo by The Dove Formerly Known as Collar
4. Coo-Coooo Coo by Dollar Cove
5. Coo-Coooo Coo by Dove (feat. Collar)

Next week Status Quo are due to release a new single "Coo-Coooo Coo" which they hope could hit this niche chart, but pop experts think it may be too repetitive, even for a collar doves' taste.

2012 London Olympics

A colleague of mine has just come back to work for the third morning in a week having had her children's school sports day cancelled 10 minutes before it was due to start. On the first occasion it had rained the night before and although the sun was shining the staff were concerned that residual water could be dangerous. On the second day there was a heavy dew, causing cancellation. On the third day, despite the sun shining and the dew being moderate, the sky looked a bit cloudy so it was cancelled again. All this in the interests of the children's safety.
If this is how this great nation approaches sport amongst it's under 11s, what happens when the Olympics arrive in 2012? I wouldn't like to be the one to tell the Greco-Roman wrestlers that their event is off because we haven't PAT tested the kettle in the Olympic Arena's staff room. What if there is a moderate breeze when the sailing is about to start? Will they all be told to abandon ship? I dread to think what the Risk Assessment for the Javelin will yield. Can we allow competitive cycling to take place when the riders could get badly scuffed knees or friction burns if they come off on those indoor tracks. I fear carnage if we allow the world's athletes to compete unsupervised and not wearing the right PPE.

Just a thought...

It takes all sorts to make a world music album....

Louis Pasteur's chat-up line?

I wonder if Louis Pasteur ever said "do you want pasteurising, 'cos pasteurised is best?" by way of a chat-up line to his wife? I wonder if she replied "Louis, I'll be happy if it comes up to my chest!" If so, did it tickle old Louis?

He may need to have heard the Benny Hill song "Ernie", that came out 80 years after his death for this to be funny, but you never know.....

Ugly Duckling?

"Just because you don't look like the other girls at school, doesn't mean we don't love you darling" I told our teenage daughter this morning. "Talk to the beak, the paws ain't listening" she said to me. Which illustrates my point, really.

Latin Phrases

For those of you who struggle with Latin, here is a well-known Latin phrase translated into English (UK): Quid Pro Quo means "I've booked a well-known legendary rock band to play at your party and it will only cost £1!"